I think we can all testify that we didn't have perfect parents. As I get older and further along as a parent myself I am beginning to see how difficult it is to parent. I am also beginning to cut my parents some slack for the things I thought they didn't do well as I grew up. Today my parents are both aging. My mom and dad are both in their 60's, mom has COPD (which is a respiratory heart condition that causes her lungs to fill with fluid making it difficult to breath, among other things), and my dad has had several strokes over the years. Mom presses through her condition and tries to continue her life although she doesn't feel like it many days. My dad can't see well, walk well, or do much of anything without help. All of this has happened over what seems like an incredibly short time. Time flies when we look at it in our rear view mirror.
Now my confession...I am incredibly busy doing ministry in the place God has put me to minister, Mercy's Cross Church. Weekly we see amazing life change, there is never a time where we are not busy. It is easy to put my mom and dad on the back burner as I do the work that is showing such promise and that I love. But God gave me my parents and expects me to care for them and my service as the Church is out of place if I try to replace my role in my parents lives with ministry to others. So today I am taking my mom to the dentist. I will serve my dad when we get back. It is not a challenge, or something difficult it is an opportunity to give back to a couple who gave to me. Being the church means being the church to my parents. I share this with you because it is easy to get our priorities out of whack, even when your the pastor of a kicking church (in two locations! lol) I thank God for the opportunity to care for my parents.
Jesus chimed in on this topic:
Matt 15:3-9
Jesus replied, "And why do you, by your traditions, violate the direct commandments of God? 4 For instance, God says, 'Honor your father and mother,' and 'Anyone who speaks evil of father or mother must be put to death.' 5 But you say, 'You don't need to honor your parents by caring for their needs if you give the money to God instead.' 6 And so, by your own tradition, you nullify the direct commandment of God. 7 You hypocrites! Isaiah was prophesying about you when he said, 8'These people honor me with their lips,but their hearts are far away.
9 Their worship is a farce,for they replace God's commands with their own man-made teachings.'NLT
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Scott, I am so glad that you take the time to care for your parents.
It was easy for me to get so wrap-
ed up with my children and their new families, but I always thought I would have my mom around to care for as she got older.I may never know why things happened as they did. But I do trust in the One who does know. God has blessed my life with an elderly woman (Opal)that I use to work with 27 years ago. Her only son died some years ago. Opal and my life crossed paths again about 4 years ago.She has no family left and has cancer, I love her dearly, she was so good to me when momma passed away. Eventhough, she will never be able to relpace my mom in my heart, God has put Opal on my heart to care for as I would have my mother. I can't help but think of how scarey it must be to Opal to feel so alone in this world,but thanks be to God, he allowed us to be drawn to each other once again,and I will care for her as if she had given birth to me. I hope you enjoy the days God has left for you with your parents, I think you'll be able to look back at your life with less regret when God is ready to take them home. Although, I think that regret and blaming yourself for not having been perfect(which of course is impossible)is just one of the many ways we grieve. I have just now allowed myself not to make my mom a saint any longer. The day she died she became a "saint" in my eyes. It's really crazy the things you convince yourself of right after you lose someone you love.I have friend who have parents that are not very "honorable" people, but I tell them that they should still honor their position in their life. You never know what someone has gone through and how it can attribute to their makeup.
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